Hermana Medeiros Texas Houston Mission: Week 21

Shalyn has been struggling the last few weeks please remember her in your prayers

What is going on? I don't even know. Every day is just another day trying to get through. I had my coping ways at home but I can't do any of them here and that's why I thought I had everything taken care of because I never had to face what I was feeling, I could go on a walk or a bike ride or a run by myself, I could play the piano, I could watch a movie, I could bake I could do what ever I wanted. I never had to face anything that was going on and because of that it was a lot easier to say that I knew how to take care of everything and that I knew how to make myself happy. But I can't do those things here. Being a missionary is really hard. It takes a lot. I've set really high expectations for myself and I'm working on lowering them a little because all I'm doing is causing myself stress and anxiety. I've been telling myself that I need to be better and be better at Spanish and at teaching and doing all these things, knowing everyone, and their needs and when I feel like I'm not living up to where I think I should be it gets discouraging because I feel that I'm not working as hard as I could be. But I am working hard and I need to realize that. I don't have to be a perfect fluent Spanish speaker or be able to teach all the lessons right now. That will come with more time. I've just been stressing myself out and being with a new companion has been hard.

Does President Mortensen know you're struggling? Yeah a little. And I meant to tell you last week but I forgot and then you had to be somewhere and I didn't remember till later but I actually went and saw someone last week from family services. Hermana Carbajal talked to me and had me call president and I talked to him and he set up a time for me to talk to someone at family services. I went and talked to the lady that was there and she gave me a few things to work on , like eating, sleeping and exercising, because I've been feeling really sick when I eat lately and so it's been really hard for me to eat because I haven't been hungry and I feel sick as soon as anything hits my stomach and so I went a week where I really didn't eat all that much, it wasn't that I was trying not to eat I just didn't feel good and so I didn't. I mean it went away after a transfer when I was constantly feeling sick but then this transfer it started coming back. Hermana Carbajal thinks it's just stress and stuff, but I've really tried this week to get all three meals in, it's been ok, I still don't feel the greatest but i just want to be healthy haha and we've started going to the gym every morning and exercising for about 20 minutes. And trying to get to bed on time but that's hard because there is just so much to do. But yeah I went and talked to someone and it was ok. I felt that I was just told to do these small things like other counselors but it was a blessing because I went on the day that we had the exchange and so Hermana Carbajal was with me and she just helped talk me though it afterwards and I'm actually going back tomorrow, I just hate it because I feel like I've been doing everything I can and working so hard at doing all the things I should do and trying to rely on the Lord and trust in Him and do the things that make me happy but I feel that sometimes it just doesn't do anything. I feel like I've always worked so hard to try to fix my emotions and I still just fall back into the same place over and over again.

How are things going w/ you and hma Coranodo? We both just haven't been very open with each other which causes us not to talk to each other a lot and makes it seem like there is contention. But today we talked and last night we talked and we started building the bridge that will help us to begin start coming closer and being better companions. I just felt like everything I suggested was tossed out the window and given five reasons why it was wrong and I finally expressed that to her and she said that that has happened before where people thought that. But we both just talked and I mean things haven't been bad but they just haven't been the way they should be. She was born in Peru and moved to the united states when she was 8. She is the youngest in her family and she has two older sisters that are married. Her family doesn't really write her, she goes a while without hearing from her family sometimes. How long has she been serving? She's been serving for almost 9 months. She's like three transfers a head of me. She goes home next October.

When they say that any problems you have before a mission are magnified on the mission is really true. Not that I didn't believe it but it hought I knew how to take care of things but when they get blown up in your face it's a lot harder. But I really am doing ok I am struggling but I'll get over this mountain. Nothing is going to stop me. I'm just trying to work as hard as I can and I just need to get better and showing my faith in my heavenly father and really doing the things that will help me. I'm trying to have time before I go to bed to read my scriputres but it's been a little difficult because we get home a little late sometimes and then we start doing other things.

I got a message from Sister Ardmore saying you were learning how to play the organ! Yeah she is teaching me how to play and it is so fun!! It's so much fun to use the pedals and to learn something new. It was really awesome :) I can play silent night :) and I might have some time to play it tonight because M*** is getting his baptismal interview and so we are going to be at the church!! We are so excited! He is getting baptized on Thursday! He is so ready and we've been working really hard with him and he has stopped smoking and drinking alcohol and he stopped drinking coffee we have like 40 ounces of coffee in our apartment haha. He gave it to us so he wouldn't drink it. But it is so wonderful because we've been working for so long with him and he is finally understanding all of these things and Thursday is going to be so great!!!

Ahh I love meet the Mormons! I'm so glad that you liked it! I loved it! it is such an amazing movie and every story that is shared is so wonderful. Oh little tater bug! That is so sweet!! He is the cutest little boy in the world! I bet that was so cute when you saw him doing that :) that would melt any heart in the world :) (her little brother was pretending to be the 'candy bomber' with a toy parachute.)

They made a movie out of that book!!?? I want to see it!! (Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, no Good, Very Bad Day) That has to be the funniest movie in the world!! Aww I'm glad that you guys are having so much fun! We are going to buy stuff to make a ginger bread house! And make little missionary ginger bread cookies :) It's going to rock!

Driving is bad! I finally proved it!!! I sprained my toe while driving! Yup that's right sprained my toe while driving, it's possible. I think I drive wrong or sometimes just drive with my toe instead of my whole foot without meaning too but it's been hurting all week and it's just now started to stop hurting but driving is evil and I finally proved it! (Shalyn has always hated driving. I had to force her to get her license. Her companion's DL is about to expire so Shalyn is doing all the driving.)

Did you do exchanges w/ the sister training leaders? How did that go? Yeah we went on an exchange on Wednesday and it was really good. Hermana Carbajal came to me :) and Coronado went to Hill. It was really good and it turned out to be a blessing because we went over to a members house and she shared with us a miracle that happened and I know she wouldn't have shared it if it was me and Hermana Coronado. One of the times when we went over to this family's house she made us pasta and she had just made enough for her and her husband and us. She was the last person to serve herself and she said there was no more pasta in the pot. Her husband didn't know that and asked us if we wanted more and we both said yes. Meanwhile this Hermana is panicking because there wasn't any more left and she said that she was just praying that somehow there would be something that he would bring out to give to us. When he came back with our plates there was more pasta and after we left she asked him where he got the pasta from because the pot had been empty and he told her that it was all right there in the pot when he went into the kitchen. This was so amazing to hear. God really does provide miracles, this family isn't poor, this family is pretty well off but it just shows that God provides miracles to help boost the faith of his children and that he knows what we need and this miracle is what this Hermana needed at this time in her life because maybe she was having a hard time and running low on faith. I don't know but God gave her this miracle and it was so wonderful that she shared it with us.

I am so excited about your mission Christmas Party this week (when she'll get her presents from us). Me too!!! Ahhh!! hermana carbajal is singing a song and I'm going to play the piano for her :)

What was your most spiritual moment of the week? Teaching manuel with a young single adult in our ward. when he finally started understand the word of wisdom and gaining a testimony about Joseph Smith. We've seen manuel almost every day and he is just progressing so much. He's stopped so many habits within like two weeks, it has been really great.

What was your greatest insight? When you feel you want to give up just keep walking one more house that's where the miracle is. We've had so many appointments fall through this week and so we've just been calling formers and referrals and trying so many house and we've made like 5 appointments with referrals and former investigators so we have a lot of potential this week!

What made you laugh? oh geez...where do I start...haha we knocked on one door and a man opened up and saw our name tags and said "no I'm catholic, no, go away." after he slammed the door we just started laughing, it was really funny. Then at another house I got told that since I've been going to church since I was younger that I am not a true believer because I've been "forced" to go to church. Haha that was really funny I hope I handled it well when I told him how I have come to know for myself and how I wasn't forced and that if I didn't want to go I could have stopped going because I can choose for myself. haha and then at another house there was this little puppy that just wanted to play, he was stuck on the porch because it couldn't go down the stairs and it grabbed on to my skirt and started pulling on it haha almost pulled it down and I have little teeth marks in my skirt that I am never going to forget. haha there's a couple of laughs for you this week :)

Best moment of service of the week? hmmm service...we took our investigators coffee away from him...haha no he actually just gave us his coffee but still that's service! Now we just have to dispose of it :)

What specific thing would you like me to pray for? That we will be able to find new investigators because we might have to drop some people soon and once M*** gets baptized we won't really have any fully progressing investigators.

Hermana and I have started learning this rap song that other missionaries made up for this mission and I have most of it down it's pretty awesome! We will record it once we really know all the words but it's coming pretty good! haha

Love you so much!! Have a great week!!

#comparteladadiva #sharethegift

Love always,

Hermana Medeiros